I already found my king
by rubyonyx
Summary: Merlin watches as Arthur takes girl after girl on a date. But eventually, the truth about Arthur's feelings comes to show. Oneshot, first time I'm writing again in years. Merthur. I don't own anything.


Girl after girl was taken to Arthur's chambers. That is, after they spent the day together, with Merlin as their personal servant. This could vary from picnics, to horse riding, to swimming.

A lot of laughter was involved, but not from Merlin's side; he hated every second he had to spend with Arthur and a new girl. These girls could be princesses as well as serving girls – commoners. No matter what their status was, Arthur always treated them like princesses.

Some actual princesses didn't find that enough, though; they still thought they were being treated poorly. Merlin especially hated these girls, it was a privilege to be treated like this by Prince Arthur, and someday, he hoped to get this treatment. But he knew it could never be, so he just accepted it every time Arthur said that there would be a new girl. But oh, did his imagination stray while he was serving Arthur and the girl…

Today, it was Guinevere's turn to be treated like a princess. Merlin had never hated her; in fact, they were good friends as they were both servants. She was Morgana's serving girl. Merlin hoped she would not change after a day of being treated like a princess.

If he was honest, he would want Guinevere on the throne beside Arthur, if it had to come to that. Well, what he really wanted was to see himself on the throne beside Arthur, but he quickly threw that thought away.

Arthur and Guinevere would have a picnic by the lake today. They were to arrive by horse, tie the horses to a tree and walk down to the lake.

Of course, Merlin had to carry their food. And it wasn't just some sandwiches; it was 2 bags full of God knows what. Guinevere offered to carry some, but before Merlin could reply Arthur said this wasn't necessary.

Having finally arrived at the lake, Merlin allowed himself to rest against a tree, but Arthur didn't allow this.

"Merlin! What do you think you're doing?" came the prince's voice from a few meters away.

"I was just… Never mind," Merlin replied as he looked at Arthur, as sunshine shone upon the man, making him look more beautiful than ever. Even if Merlin didn't like the fact that it was Guinevere today instead of himself, he still wanted Arthur to have a good day, like always. He would do whatever was necessary to make Arthur happy. So he started setting up the picnic.

Arthur and Guinevere sat on a rock by the lake while Merlin was finishing setting up the picnic. He could hear every word they said.

"Guinevere… you truly look amazing, sitting like that in the sunlight," Arthur said as he stroked Guinevere's cheek. Guinevere giggled.

"Thank you very much, sire, but you can call me Gwen instead of Guinevere. Bit easier, isn't it?" Gwen replied, and Arthur smiled.

"I'm not your lord or sire today. So you can call me Arthur, Gwen."

Merlin called over to them, saying that the picnic was ready. He had nicked some grapes and put them in his pocket, hoping to eat them in silence while finally resting against a tree.

He did eat them, but not in silence, all he heard was the constant giggles of Arthur and Gwen and the endless stream of compliments.

Merlin allowed himself to close his eyes and think about this situation, but with himself instead of Gwen. It would truly make him the happiest man on this earth. Ever since he met Arthur he had taken a liking to him, never showing it, always covering it up with friendly insults, and Arthur would do the same to him. But Merlin was sure Arthur really thought him an idiot at times, his idiot servant. He sighed deeply as he opened his eyes again and came back to reality.

Arthur and Gwen had finished their food, and were now lying on the blanket, watching clouds.

"You see that one, Gwen? Don't you think it looks like a heart?" Arthur said while reaching out for Gwen's hand. Merlin thought the cloud looked rather like a misshapen baby, but that could just be him.

While he was here, he decided to look around for some herbs that Gaius could use.

"Sire?" Merlin started, and Arthur looked at him.

"I was hoping I could collect some herbs in the area, as Gaius is running a bit low."

Arthur raised an eyebrow and nodded.

Merlin was glad to finally be alone for a bit, and as he was collecting herbs, he kept thinking about Arthur.

The truth hit him – they could never be, for Arthur needed a queen, not his serving boy. Merlin had to get rid of his feelings for Arthur, but that's easier said than done.

If he could have used magic to get rid of it, he definitely would have, because no feelings for him would be easier than being reminded every day that Arthur would never return the feelings, that they would never hold each other.

Merlin took a deep breath and continued collecting herbs. He had collected a lot of herbs before finally returning to the picnic.

"Finally, there you are! I was worried abou- worried that you would be late, as we wish to return to the castle," Arthur said upon seeing Merlin return.

"Yes sire," Merlin answered and started packing up while Arthur and Gwen moved to the same rock they sat on earlier.

After a while, Merlin noticed that Arthur and Gwen didn't talk. Well, Gwen tried to make conversation, but Arthur barely responded to her. When Merlin looked over at them, he caught Arthur's eye, and Arthur quickly looked away. Merlin smiled to himself, not quite sure why.

The conversation started again, Arthur asked Gwen what it was like to be Morgana's serving girl, if she liked it. Merlin tried to block out the conversation, but didn't succeed. Luckily, he quickly finished packing up.

"Time to go!" he called.

When they got back to the castle, Arthur took Gwen to his chambers, just like he did with all the other girls.

Merlin quickly went the other direction, returning to Gaius, hoping that the herbs he collected would be of use.

"Gaius!" Merlin called when he arrived. Gaius looked up from one of his books, greeting Merlin back.

"I've got some herbs for you," Merlin said as he placed the bag on Gaius' book.

"Why Merlin, thank you very much, but you know, I was reading that," Gaius laughed, as he went to inspect the contents of the bag.

"So, how was today?" he asked.

"You know today was hell," he sighed.

"It was Gwen today. I'm supposed to hate her for this, but I can't. I love both of them, just… Arthur in a different way than I love Gwen. I don't even want to know what they're up to in his chambers right now, but yeah, I have a feeling. So, have you got anything for me to do?"

Gaius looked at the herbs, and said, "You can help me sort my ingredients. It's become quite a mess." Merlin nodded.

Usually, the girls stayed the night with Arthur. But Merlin felt he had to go to Arthurs chambers every time, knock and ask if they need anything. So far, they never did.

"Gaius, I'm going to see if Arthur and… If Arthur needs anything," Merlin said as they finished sorting the ingredients. Gaius just nodded and continued reading the book Merlin had placed the bag on earlier.

He walked through the castle, eventually running into Morgana.

"Merlin, you haven't seen Guinevere today, have you?" she asked. Didn't Arthur and Gwen tell Morgana?

"Hello Morgana. Didn't Arthur tell you he would take Gwen for a picnic today?" Morgana shook her head and muttered something under her breath, before walking back in the direction she came from.

Merlin continued walking to Arthur's chambers, knocking when he arrived.

"Are you in need of anything, sire?" Merlin asked.

"No we aren't, Merlin," was Arthur's response, as per usual.

So Merlin turned around, and was about to make his way back to Gaius.

"Merlin!" came Arthur's voice from his chambers.

"Yes, sire?" Merlin replied hesitantly.

"Please come in," said Arthur, his voice softened. Merlin dreaded having to go in there and seeing Arthur and Gwen, but he entered anyway. He quickly noticed that Gwen wasn't there.

Arthur was lying on his bed, alone.

"Sire, might I ask where Gwen has gone to?" Merlin asked as he halted before Arthur's bed.

"Kicked her out," was Arthur's response.

"My lord…" Merlin started, but Arthur shushed him.

"Will you sit down?" Arthur requested, gesturing to the edge of the bed. Merlin thought this was unusual, but he sat down anyway.

"I, uh, I felt sick, so I asked Gwen if she would leave, and she did. That's it," Arthur said quickly.

Merlin reached out to Arthur's forehead, wanting to check if he had a fever, but Arthur quickly said "don't."

Merlin obeyed and retreated his hand. He thought Arthur looked beautiful, lying there, and before he knew it, the words slipped out of his mouth.

"You look beautiful." Merlin's eyes widened in shock and Arthur sat up right.

"I'm so sorry, sire, I have to be off, I'm so sorry," Merlin said as he quickly got up and ran out of the chambers.

"Merlin! MERLIN!" Arthur called, but Merlin kept running.

He eventually turned a corner and sat down against the wall, cursing himself for being so stupid as to say that out loud.

Arthur kept calling Merlin's name, and eventually, he found him.

"Merlin…" Arthur started, but the stream of apologies began again.

"I'm so very sorry sire, it won't happen again, I don't…"

Arthur shushed Merlin again. "Oh Merlin, if you ever knew…" he said.

Merlin looked up at him, not quite sure what that meant.

"Merlin, I didn't really kick Gwen out because I felt sick. I kicked her out five minutes after we entered my chambers because she was not the person I wanted with me. I… I kicked every girl out. They never stayed with me. I didn't care about them. Sure, they were nice; I had fun days, but no. They weren't the person I wanted with me."

Merlin stood up, looking at Arthur with a puzzled look on his face.

"Oh you idiot, it's you! It's always been you, ever since I met you. I never wanted anyone else," Arthur admitted.

Merlin's head filled itself with questions; why did Arthur treat all those girls like princesses, why did he do that right in front of Merlin, why did he never say anything about it to him?

"Come with me to my chambers. I feel we need to talk about this," Arthur said and Merlin nodded, too stunned to say anything.

They both sat down on the bed. Merlin opened his mouth to ask the questions he had gotten earlier, but he closed his mouth again. Arthur sighed.

"I'm sorry, Merlin. I never meant to tell you this. I didn't want to complicate things between us, and I should have been happy that you were my friend. My friend who's always there for me, who's always-"

This time, Merlin shushed Arthur. Arthur's eyes met Merlin's, and the former leaned in close, but Merlin put a finger to Arthur's lips.

"I'm so sorry, I had hoped you felt the same, I won't ever try it again," Arthur said quickly, but Merlin just laughed.

"What's so funny?" Arthur demanded.

"You prat, of course I like you back. Why else would I have said you were beautiful earlier?" Merlin laughed, and Arthur smiled.

"But I have a question, and you need to answer it first," Merlin continued, "why did you take me to see how you treated those girls like princesses every time?"

Arthur took a deep breath.

"Because I absolutely dreaded those days, and having you with me made it less horrible. I often imagined it was you instead of one of those girls, and I really wished it had been so." Arthur answered, and Merlin also smiled.

"So… you really like me back?" Arthur asked hesitantly, looking down at his hands.

"Since the day we met," Merlin replied, and he took Arthurs hand. They looked at each other and they were both smiling, and Merlin leaned forward, pressing his lips softly against Arthurs.

But he quickly pulled back, as another question had entered his head. Arthur looked at him, confused, and Merlin quickly asked, "Why did you even take those girls with you every time? What was the point?"

Arthur sighed. "My father wants me to find a queen, so he keeps setting up those dates, or whatever you wish to call them. I wish I had the courage to tell him that I already found my king."

Merlin smiled again. "So nothing ever happened between you and those girls?" he asked.

Arthur looked at Merlin, and answered. "Never."

Merlin pressed their foreheads together, staring deeply in Arthurs eyes, and again pressed his lips on Arthurs. He vowed to himself that he would never let Arthur, HIS Arthur, go.


End file.
